If you don't let me eat, I will DIE.

It's that time of year again. Children all over the country are sobbing hysterically because they have to go back to school. Behind those children? Parents silently cheering at the fact that they will have a quiet house from 8-2 every day.

Well, at least until 2pm. Then, let the most whiny/annoying/frustrating half hour of your life begin. That's right, I'm talking homework time. Maybe it's just me, but I don't remember having homework until MAYBE fourth grade. B started first grade last week and, although she lucked out the first few days, has had homework every day this week. Two sheets, practicing things she mastered last year in Kindergarten. Easy peasy, right? NOPE. Forget it. Those two sheets are stealing every last bit of sanity that I might have had. If you walked by my house on a homework night you'd probably think that someone was seriously injured due to the ear piercing scream that is coming out of my child. I'm honestly surprised that I still have ear drums.

First it starts with a "BUT I'M HUNGRYYYYY". Fine. You've been in school all day learning new things, you deserve a snack. Then, that turns into "I need another snack", followed by "and if you don't let me eat, I will DIE. People need food to survive". Excuse me? You just shoveled a gogurt into your mouth in 2.5 seconds, and don't act like you didn't sneak a ton of pringles BECAUSE I SAW YOU.

After the snack it becomes "I need a drink". Okay, drink a juice box while you do your homework. "But I don't wannnnnnnna do my homework". By this time, it's already 6pm and we're only at the beginning of the homework adventure. Not only am I aggravated with homework, but now I need to figure out what the hell I'm going to feed my family for dinner. At this rate, I'll be planning breakfast instead.

When I finally get her started on her worksheets, it only takes about one minute for something to go wrong. On one particular assignment, B totally lost it because the teacher didn't mark where the 0 went in the number 10.

Me: You need to write the number 10, starting at the dot.
B: But there's only a dot for the 1.
Me: Yes, because 10 starts with a 1. The dot is showing you where to start the 10.
B: But the teacher forgot the dot for the 0.
Me: No, the teacher only put a dot for the 1.
B: Well the 0 needs a dot because you need dots for all the numbers.
Me: No, just the start of the number.
B: No. She said start the number at the dot. I can't start the zero because there isn't a dot. This teacher is stressing me allllllll out.
Me: Do you need to take a break for a minute?
B: NO.
Me: Okay, so start writing your tens.
B: BUT HOW WILL I KNOW WHERE TO PUT THE ZERO?!?!?!?!

Fairly certain I needed to put myself on a timeout. Nothing worse than talking circles with someone who just doesn't get what you are saying. Especially when that someone is 6 years old and extremely emotional. The teacher is stressing you out? I don't even want to begin to think about what 13 year old B is going to sound like.

Eventually, she did take a break. She stomped herself into her room, screamed "THERE. I'm in my room, because you asked me to take a break so I put myself in timeout. HAPPY?!". I kept my answer to myself and enjoyed the five minutes of complete silence.