But I Don't Seeeeeeee Ittttttttttt!!!!

Where is it?!?!

I don't see it?!?!?

WHERRRRREEEEEEE??????!!!!????


If I could erase the above three statements from the English language, I would. Oh I would. I hear these words on an every day basis. No, I take that back. I hear these words on an HOURLY basis. Brianna is forever losing things in plain sight. At first, I thought maybe it was due to her poor vision. NOPE. She got her glasses and it was still the same thing over and over again.

B asks where a toy is.
I tell her where it is.
B says it's not there.
I tell her again that it is.
B insists I must be wrong.
I feel my anger start to rise due to being called a liar by a child.
B again calls me a liar and insists it is not in that spot.
I angrily march to said area of toy placement, pointing at said toy.
B again states "WHERE?!?!"
I am now on the floor touching the toy.
B is surveying the area and crying because she thinks her toy is lost forever.
I am now holding the toy in my hands, doing the Mom thing where I grit my teeth and say "HERE" without moving my lips.
B rejoices, "YOU FOUND IT!".

Every. Single. Time.

The only thing that can possibly make this ordeal worse is when i'm involved in something else. Hell, I could be juggling torches while balancing plates on my head and Brianna would be all "But Mooooooommmmmm, I can't find it! It's important!". Seeing as I can't juggle, nor is my balance that great, it's usually when i'm elbow deep in a sink full of dishes. I don't want to be doing dishes in the first place, so if I've committed to them, don't interrupt me. I WILL lose all interest and/or forget what I was doing in the first place and probably end up on facebook instead. And that's how I end up in my pajamas at 5pm scrambling to get all the cleaning done by the time Derek comes home from work. Story of my life.

Recently I've begun to teach Brianna how to clean. Surprisingly she's been much more into it that I thought she would be. She's helped me with dishes, laundry, dusting, making the bed, and organization. I have this strange suspicion that her only motivation has been the chore chart that my Mom gave her for Christmas. She earns stars for every task she completes, every day she completes them. When she reaches a certain number of stars, she earns a prize. This is where it gets good. The chore chart is designed for three children, and has a reward spot for each child. Brianna took it upon herself to fill in the blanks ON EVERY SINGLE SPOT.

Now, if you can't make out what that says at the bottom, here's a translation:

1 Star = $11

2 Stars = A new toy

3 Stars = Getting her nails done

Yes. You read that right. For every task that she completes, she expects to earn eleven dollars. After she so excitedly filled out the chart, she ran to her room and made her bed. 

B: I added one star, so I need that eleven dollars.

Me: Uh, no.

B: Do you want me to make that twelve?

This girl really thinks that I'm going to pay her money every time she cleans. Hah. My name isn't Derek Conway, and this isn't dinner time (That's right, Derek! I'm selling out you and your bribery tactics to try new foods!). 

I think we'll be reevaluating this chore chart and sticking to a set reward. ONE reward. Nice try though, Brianna.